Ever have one of these days? This is from Say What – Classic Humor from U.S. District Judge Jerry Buchmeyer a must read if you need a laugh from time to time:
“From Mark Z. Levbarg of Austin, these excerpts from a deposition he took in a case against Southwestern Bell:
Q. During the 26 years that you were married to ______, how many children did you have?
A. We had five children.
Q. Five children?
A. Uh-huh.
Q. Can you tell me their names?
A. Eliseo and Elizabeth.
Q. Okay. Thats two.
A. Dianne, Mary Alice and Margaret.
Q. Any others?
A. And Danny.
Q. Yes.
A. You got all five? How many you got?
Q. I have six.
A. Well, I have eight.
Q. Okay. Who are the other two?
A. Hold on just a minute. Mary Alice, Dianne, Margaret, Annie Ruth and Elizabeth and Albert and Danny…
Then, 39 pages later in the same deposition:
Q. Mr. _____, maybe were having an arithmetic problem. Can you tell me how many years ago 1961 was? How many years ago was that?
A. 1961? To now? You want me to answer that question?
Q. If you can. If you cant, just say, “I dont know.”
A. Well, I can start think back and tell you. Be all right with you?
Q. Surely, take your time.
A. You got me without my coffee this morning … Im used to getting up in the morning and getting coffee before I even say one word to my wife.
Q. Do you want to take a break and have some coffee?
A. Be a good idea.
Q. Lets go off the record, and you have some coffee.
Then, following the coffee break and 11 more deposition pages:
Q. Lets go back to the question we left off with. Lets see if we can get our arithmetic down. How many years ago was 1961?
A. How many years ago was 1961?
Q. Yes, to today.
A. Okay. Just a minute. This morning has not been good for me, believe me. What? 15 years, is it?
Q. Well, I count 26 years, and thats why were having a problem with the years you say you worked at various places. Its because were not coming up with the same arithmetic.
Finally, after 32 more deposition questions:
Q. Lets go on to something else. How many brothers do you have?
A. I have eight – brothers? [No,] I have nine altogether.”
Q. Nine brothers?
A. [Yes, counting both] girls and boys.”
Say What? – A weblog of classic humor from U.S. District Judge Jerry Buchmeyer
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